


Pictograms

by greeneggs101, Violet_Janou



Series: And Hamish Makes Three [7]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-19
Updated: 2012-10-19
Packaged: 2017-11-16 15:03:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/540744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greeneggs101/pseuds/greeneggs101, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Violet_Janou/pseuds/Violet_Janou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John wonders when his life turned as confusing as a set of instructions from Ikea.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pictograms

**Author's Note:**

> This idea came to us, when I moved down to Florida for the Disney College Program and I was shopping with my roommates at Ikea. I told the idea to Greeneggs and we kinda just went with it. We hope that you all enjoy it(: comments much loved and appreciated as well!

John groaned as he lifted Hamish out of his crib. “I think you’re getting a bit big for this bed Hal.” He said as he looked at his son in his blue eyes. 

“Baby bed.” Hamish said agree with John’s assessment of the facts. Hamish helped John pick out cloths he wanted to wear that day. He kissed his son and then headed down the steps to get breakfast ready. 

Sherlock had taken over the table (or what was left of it after the accident last night) with some sort of an experiment or another. John headed to the fridge to get the milk out for cereal. “Sherlock, I think Hamish needs a big boy bed.” John said. Of course John was thinking long term. If they got him a simple bed now it could grow with him till he went off to University. 

Sherlock looked up from his microscope as John grabbed the cereal from the cabinet and set it on the counter as their three year old son came running into the kitchen. “Papa,” he said stopping to give Sherlock a morning kiss. “I want a big boy bed. I’m not a baby no more.” 

“Anymore.” Corrected Sherlock. He looked down and saw how tall Hamish was getting and that he was three now. It seemed only logical to get him a new bed. 

Hamish huffed as he corrected himself. “Anymore. Can we go now?” he asked as he crawled up onto the tall bar stool, sitting down at the tall table as John set a bowl of cereal in front of him. 

“No, you are going to visit Aunt Sarah today. Papa and I have to go to work.” Explained John as he handed Sherlock a bowl of cereal. He said nothing and began to eat it. 

“Tomorrow?” Hamish asked his mouth full of food. 

“Yes,” Sherlock answered his mouth full of cereal as well. 

~~~

The following day came. The case was solved and they were on their way to Ikea. Mycroft had given them a car to take them the drive up to Wembley. Sherlock was pouting a little. “I don’t see why Mycroft couldn’t just buy it...” he said as he parked the car. John said nothing as he heard Hamish unbuckle himself from the booster seat. 

John got out of the car and held his son’s hand as they walked into the store. “We are two grown men Sherlock who can buy our son his own bed.” John explained to him. He saw Sherlock eyeing the trolley’s as they walked into the store. Sherlock turned to look at John and he shook his head. “And no. You cannot ride in the trolley.” 

Sherlock grumbled as they took the escalator up to the show room floor. “Woah” Hamish said as he looked around. It was new and exciting and big. He was going to like this tore. John was about to bend over and set Hamish in the cart when he backed up. “No trolley.” He grabbed onto Sherlock’s hand. 

John nodded. “Then you have to hold Papa’s hand the entire time.” John told him.” 

A smile spread across both Sherlock and Hamish’s face as he agreed with an, “Okay!” 

In retrospect John knew he should have known that his rule was a mistake. While on his own Hamish was well behaved. With his Papa… well… John wasn’t all that surprised that as soon as he turned his back the two children he took with him to the store had run off. 

John knew he would run into them so he went walking to the kids’ rooms to look at the beds. Over in the couches Sherlock hid behind the back of a large grey one. He felt a small 3 year old jump onto his back. “Found you Papa!” he cried out as Sherlock stood up. Hamish hung from his back like a cape. Sherlock bent down to set Hamish back on the ground. Once he got onto the ground Sherlock turned around and looked at him.

“Okay your turn.” He said as he knelt down and looked at Hamish. “And what must we remember?” 

“Don’t let Daddy see!” Hamish said as he took off. 

John could hear them even if he couldn’t see them. He asked one of the associates which bed would be best and she helpfully showed him a few of the floor samples and demonstrated the ins and outs. 

“How old is your son?” She asked John as he looked over the bed and thought of what Sherlock could do to it and decided the one he had just seen wasn’t the best idea for them at the moment. 

“3,” he said as his eye caught another bed. “I think the simpler the better. We live in a chaotic flat at times.”

“Are you a single father then?” she asked with a smile. 

John smiled back. He thought he would have gotten use to this by now but when women hit on him he felt odd. “No. I have a partner.” He said as he saw Hamish go running past them. 

“Oh,” she said. John knew she was more than embarrassed. He dropped the topic as he opted for the twin bed with a black wire bed frame. John wrote down the item number as well as the item name. 

“Hey,” Sherlock said as he leaned onto John, his hand braced on his good shoulders as he took a deep breath in to catch his breath. He said nothing else as John looked at him and pointed.

“He ran that way but I didn’t tell you.” He laughed. 

“Get that bed,” Sherlock said as he kissed John on the mouth and took off. John nodded absentmindedly but looked around some more anyway. Eventually he decided that Sherlock’s choice was the best. He turned to find the sales women when he heard a voice. 

“Um… sir? Please don’t hide under there… you might get stuck.” 

John groaned as he looked down and there was his partner. He looked ridiculous but he would be the only man to try and fit underneath a toddler sized bed. John walked past him trying to ignore him and what he was doing. As John was about to turn the corner he felt Hamish pulling on his coat. Looking down his son looked up and smiled. “Daddy… I lost Papa.” 

John bent down and looked at his son. He leaned close to his ear and pointed. “Under the bed in the red room.” he said kissing his son on the side of his face. Hamish giggled as he took off running. John stood up and shook his head. He knew that he was going to regret this sooner or later. 

But he was enjoying the quiet while shopping. After the bed was decided on John also then looked to see if there were any small dressers to get for Hamish for his room. As they walked over to the dressers John heard Hamish’s voice yell. “Papa! I found you!” 

Sherlock huffed as he got out of the bed. Hamish was about to run when they were stopped by a worker. “Where are your parents?” he asked. Hamish turned around and pointed at Sherlock. “You need to control your child.” The worker scowled at Sherlock. 

“I am,” Sherlock hissed as he picked up Hamish. They met up with John soon. They then decided to go ahead and get lunch at the store before they went to look for a new kitchen table. Sherlock had finally destroyed the old one Ms. Hudson had provided for them. 

After a long lunch break they headed down to the main level. When they got there Sherlock and John soon had a disagreement over the trolley. John was about to bend over and pick up Hamish but stopped as he looked over at Sherlock. “No.” he said as he saw Sherlock sitting in the trolley.

Sherlock sat there, his legs followed up to his body as he grinned at John. He then cocked his head and narrowed his eyes. John never told him not to ride in the trolley before. “Why?” he asked as John looked at him. 

“You are a 32 year old man. You shouldn’t be riding in trolley’s like you are four or running around playing hide and go seek either in IKEA.” He hissed as John saw a few people look at them as they walked past. “Now get out!” 

Hamish pulled on John’s coat. “Daddy I wanna get in!” Hamish said as he held up his arms in the air. John pressed his lips together as he picked up his son. He set him in the front seat of the trolley. Hamish giggled. “I wanna sit like Papa!” 

John shook his head. “No, we have to sit like the trolley is made for us to sit in.” John insisted as Hamish sat down the proper way with a huff. John put his hands on the trolley and began to push it. “I’m dealing with two children. Why am I dealing with them? I should have left them at the flat. I must be losing it…” John mumbled. 

Hamish looked up at his dad. “John stop mumbling. You are confusing our son.” Sherlock said as his hand reached out and then moved back into the cart. John stopped pushing the trolley and looked at both the children that were now sitting inside. 

“Hands inside the trolley at all times.” John hissed as he grabbed the coasters out of the trolley and set them back on the shelf. Sherlock rolled his eyes and turned away. Sherlock was sulking as they came to the kitchen tables. They passed a few till John stopped at one. Hamish was looking bored but he was trying to keep himself busy. “What about this one?” John asked as he saw it could seat four people and could stand up to fire, guns, swards and all sorts of things due to Sherlock. As well as a three year old. 

Sherlock looked at it and shook his head. “It’s not the right height…” 

“Right height? Right height for what Sherlock?” John asked him as he crossed his arms over his chest. 

Sherlock’s cupid bow lips curled into a smile as he sat up in the trolley. “Well, I want you to be comfortable when I bend you over it and f-” 

“Sherlock!” John yelled as he covered up Hamish’s ears. A few heads turned to look at them. Sherlock chuckled as John’s face went red. John then turned and looked at the table. The man was correct. He said nothing but kept on moving. 

Hamish didn’t want to know what his Dad and Papa were saying so he shrugged it off. Hamish turned back to look at his Papa. “That one!” he pointed to one that looked very similar to the one they already had. Sherlock put his hand out to stop the trolley. He looked at John and they both agreed. 

John then looked down and saw the price. “Okay, let’s look maybe there is one that is more in our price-” John was cut off as Hamish looked at his Dad. 

“No.” he told him. “That one!” he pointed his finger toward the table. John looked up at Sherlock. How Hamish was picking up Sherlock’s traits. And favorite words. 

“Call Mycroft.” Sherlock said. He didn’t mind using his brother when it came to getting furniture. John had realized this when they broke their old bed frame. 

“No.” John said. 

“Really John, just call him.” 

“You call him if you want money but there is no way in-” John stopped as his phone went off. It was an alert from the bank. Reading it over it said there was a direct deposit from the surgery. John suspected that it was about 150 quid over what it was supposed to be. “Never mind…” he trailed off. 

They went to the checkout where they placed the order bot the bed, dresser as well as the new kitchen table. They said they would pick up the items the following day. 

~~~

When they went to get the furniture they had Hamish stay with Ms. Hudson. “Why didn’t’ one of Mycroft’s minions do this?” Sherlock huffed as they drove the black SUV back to IKEA to pick up their new furniture. “And I hate driving these stupid big cars.” 

John rolled his eyes. “I’m sorry we needed a bigger car to put the furniture in as well as it’s not your brothers to pick up.” 

“So.” Sherlock said as he pulled up to the loading area. 

John rolled his eyes at Sherlock as he got out of the car. He pulled out his receipt as the worker when to get their items for them. Loading them up was easy. The drive back home was easy. Even getting the kitchen table up the 17 steps and then Hamish’s bed and the bedside table up the 34 steps was easy. John had gotten the bedside table put together in no time at all. The kitchen table was a cake walk. But the bed. 

That was a whole other ball park. 

After an hour of fighting with the Swedish made furniture John was getting surly and his filter on this mouth began to wane. Sherlock was getting bored and annoyed with the stupidity of the manufactures as well as questioning everything John did. “There are instructions!” he yelled at Sherlock as he wiped the sweat from his brow. John had stripped off his jumper as was sitting on the floor with his jeans and a very tight white undershirt that had sweat going up the back. At this point John was looking for a fight to be had. 

“They are wrong!” Sherlock yelled at him as he kicked the empty box with his bare foot. 

John stood up and looked at him. “Jesus Sherlock just because it’s not your bloody way doesn’t mean it’s wrong!” he yelled at him. 

Sherlock put his hands on his hips. “Umm yes it does.” 

Hamish sat down in the hallways as he watched and listened to his Dad and Papa fight. It was great fun and he knew that neither of them would truly win the argument. 

“You are so arrogant you…” John stopped. “Give me the screws.” John told him with a serious face as he stretched out his hand. 

Sherlock held them over his head. Just to piss John off a little more. He smiled and said, “Not until we do it my way.” 

John’s eyes narrowed. “Give me the blood screws you arse!”

“Nope.” 

Hamish was soon torn away by his Dad’s fighting when he heard the doorbell. Jumping up from the floor he then made his way down the 34 steps. When he got to the door opened it to see his Aunt Sarah standing there with a smile. She bent down and gave him a hug and a kiss. “How is the new bed Hamish?” she asked him. 

“I have to sleep on the floor.” He explained to her. 

Sarah stood up and walked in. As she shut the door she heard the yelling and loud thumping coming from Hamish’s room. “Oh dear.” Hamish led his aunt up the steps. As the climbed the voice and the yelling grew louder and louder. Sarah soon saw what Hamish meant by him having to sleep on the floor. “How is the bed coming boys?” she asked trying to break the tension that was in the room.

John looked up at her. “Fine, if Sherlock would stop being a child.” John explained. He had him pinned down to the ground. His legs straddled over Sherlock’s long thin body. While John’s hands held down Sherlock’s wrists. 

“Get him off me.” Sherlock said trying to move but he knew that he couldn’t over power John. 

“What did you do?” Sarah asked looking at Sherlock and trying so hard not to laugh at the sight that was in front of her eyes. 

“Papa took these,” Hamish said as he walked into his mess of a room and picked up the screws. 

Sarah rolled her eyes. “Okay, both of you stop and leave. I will get this thing built in no time.” Sarah explained to them as John, Sherlock and Hamish all looked at her. 

“We can handle it.” John and Sherlock yelled at the same time as Sarah shrugged off her coat. 

“No, you really can’t. I don’t need my nephew sleeping on the floor.” She explained to them. “I got your back here Hal.” He smiled at his Aunt. 

“Do you have no faith in us?” John asked as he released Sherlock from the ground. 

“No.” Hamish told his Dad. 

Once John and Sherlock got up they sighed as they were banished from the room. They took Hamish back down stars with them and then began to make a dinner to say thank you to Sarah. And by making Sherlock called the Thai restaurant and got some takeaways. 

Just as John walked back up from picking up the takeaway Sarah came down into the kitchen with a smile on her face. “Hamish, let’s go check out your new bed.” 

Hamish took off and bolted up the steps. Sarah, John and Sherlock followed close behind. When they walked in Sarah had not only built the bed but she had put the new sheets and duvet on the bed as well as clean up the mess from the boxes. Hamish looked pleased as he walked around the bed to check it out. 

“I like the bed” John said as he was about to sit on it as Hamish yelled. John froze as Hamish ran over. 

“My bed.” He jumped on top of the bed and spread out to try and cover it all. “No one else can sit on it.” 

Sarah laughed. “Remember that one Dad and Papa. So when he brings a girl home when he is 16 you have the right to remind him that he can’t have anyone else sit on his bed but him.” Hamish stood up on his bed to give his Aunt Sarah a hug for putting his bed together as well as cleaning up the room his Daddy and Papa made a mess of. He then plopped back down on his back onto his new bed. 

John walked Sarah to the door as Sherlock made sure Hamish got ready for bed as well as took his bath. Once Hamish was washed, teeth brush and dressed his in pajamas they read him a story, tucked him in and watched as he fell asleep in his new big boy bed. 

Making their way back down to the kitchen, Sherlock looked at their new kitchen table they had put together that day. John walked over to put the kettle on. Sherlock knew he had work in the morning, for it was just after 9 and he was having his evening tea. 

Sherlock walked up behind John and wrapped his arms around him. “I was thinking we could break the new table in.” Sherlock whispered to him as he slid his hand down Johns’ chest and cock area. 

“Now.” He asked fighting hard but losing the battle to his body and the reaction he got from Sherlock’s touch. 

“Are you going to object?” Sherlock asked as John abandoned his tea for a much better way to sooth him into a restful sleep that evening


End file.
